If you are afraid to call the police or a friend, have a neighbor call a cab. They won’t charge you and your baby for a ride to a shelter. I promise.

When your ‘man’ goes to work, pack things for you and the baby in a duffel bag, hit the road and don’t look back.

There is just too great of a risk that he could harm if not kill you and your baby. And NO ONE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD BE HURTING YOU!!!!! You’re a brave young mother who deserves help, safety and respect. It is all out there for you.

call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to find your local shelter and get information on safe transport there.

Stay Strong and let us all know how you are!

And marriage at your age, would be a bad idea. I’m a single mom and although things are sometimes hard, everyday is a blessing. Get things in perspective, keep yourself out of harms way, everything you do, decision you make will affect your child.  Love is not Abuse and if you stay he will not be the only one to blame.

as hard as it seems to believe it, this is a scenario that can GET WORSE.

which is all it’s gonna do.

all people EVER do is become more like themselves.

they change, maybe, ONLY if they want to do it themselves. it doesnt sound like this cat of yrs wants to change AT ALL.

IT IS NOT YOU. nothing, nobody at all is gonna make him change. not you, not having a baby, not somebody else, nothing. he is NOT interested in doing it.

YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE. i know you dont think so. but it’s true. the other handful o’that is that if you dont ditch this guy prontissimo pronto you are gonna get used to the way he behaves & it’ll be A LOT harder to find someone better. why? cos even if you dont now, yr gonna get used to his behavior & it’s gonna feel normal. then the next person to try such disrespectful crap out on you will get to do it too. it wont feel mean, it’ll feel Biz As Usual. you dont want this to be Biz As Usual. you wanna get out of there.

sounds to me like he comes from either a family or a culture where men are allowed but women are not allowed [ed note: in this house we are ukrainian, both of us, but not first gen]. it sounds to me like he thinks that when he gave yr kid a name this was almost more than enough & whatever he provides for you & kid fulfills the rest of his responsibilities. after that, it’s okay for him to do whatever he wants.

okay, fine–this is what you are getting. once in awhile he might be nice, but grind down those most brass of tacks & this is the dust at the bottom. some women, i guess, do not mind it. IF YOU MIND IT {& it sounds like you do], you dont have much choice. you gotta go.

it is not yr responsibility whether or not he gets deported. he can find someone he scarcely knows to buy him a green card marriage. it is, however, HIS responsibility whether or not he sleeps around enough to give you something not easily curable.

okay, done. i only came to this site cos i was tired & clicked a link. i read yr story & it made me mad.

point of fact: i was married when i was younger even than you. right now i am old enough to be yr mom [particularly if i had a kid a year after i was married]. my exhusband is not the same type at all, but i still did learn odd bad lessons from my marriage that carry thru in my relationship to this day.

for one thing, i learned to tolerate the isolation you mention. it was NOT a good lesson. & i was raised in a family filled w/ violence. even tho my mother was a doctor, my mother learned to tolerate lots of abuse from my father–who wasnt a doctor at all. & by this unhappy accident of circumstance, she taught HER KIDS to tolerate violence as well. i wont, i was determined to NOT stand for it & dont–but it has been a long, hard lesson of life.

you dont wanna pass down these abilities to yr kid. you dont wanna have yr kid grow up in a house where cheating is okay, beating is okay, etc & ect. why? cos then yr kid will have a real difficult time getting out from under it too. & you dont wanna pass it on.

okay, done.