Oh God is she on something? We’re not done with the arms?! Get some 3 lbs weights? Is she destroying the arms so we have to get replacements and that’s how we look younger? Pause. Go to the basement. I find some 2.5 lbs weights. Gee a year ago I was moving 12 lbs. weights so these 2.5 lbs will be cake.

I stop and get an ice tea. Okay, nothing’s gonna stand in my way. DVD back on.

She’s saying something. Is it possible that the super-intense-killer-pain in my arms (holding the barbaric 2 ½ pound weights) is causing my hearing to fade? I have to rest. Pause.

I go to the bathroom to see if any part of my body looks differently. No. Back to the DVD.

We’re doing abs now. We’re standing. We’re doing basic jazz dance class ribcage isolations. I can do these. Wait, what pattern is she doing? Huh? Oh well I’ll just jam with rib movements. I don’t feel much. But I do these at my dance studio.

Lying down abs. What? Legs straight? Never heard of that. Okay I can do this. Crunching, crunching. Maybe by keeping the legs straight it pushes the belly down instead of poufing it out. Uh-oh, we’re moving a leg and crunching and leg straight. Keep moving. Oh man, I gotta rest again. I’m sitting and watching the rest of the abs workout. Yeah, she’s definitely on something. Done for the day.

What?! More legs? Get a yoga mat. Forget it, I’m watching.

As I’m watching I remember during my thorough Internet search that the BFFs Gwyn and Madge (as they call her in England) exercise for 2 hours a day. I remember reading that 30 minutes every day has to be cardio according to Tracy. Hey, I did walk today first.

Whatever her name was from the Biggest Loser (Ali?) who lost like 100-200 lbs. exercised for 3-5 hours a day. But I’d rather end up looking like Tracy than Ali. Now I see what Tracy’s saying about a feminine look instead of a buff body Terminator look being more desirable. At least for me.

Tracy likes to exercise in an 80 degree room. My room fan isn’t going anywhere soon.

Okay, time for the cool down. I of course rally to do that. Short and sweet.

Now, it is done.