“tough but doable”, girl, whoa ho ho…what are these ‘Red Hots’ she’s asking for? There’s no tough in them. There’s torture in them. And she knows it, that’s why the only name she could come up with was RED HOTS. One can’t market “Dove’s Bodies Presents: Arm Torture.” No. Same with those RockAByes! What an innocent, sweet name to replace the true name: Abdominal Agony for All.

And she also couldn’t market “Dove’s Bodies Presents: Leg Torture To See If Your Leg Really Will Fall Off Of Your Body In That Lying Down Leg To The Front Move And You Could Be The First Person To Arrive At The Emergency Room With Your Leg In Your Hand From An Exercise DVD.”

And while I’m revealing full disclaimers, let me point out that she probably couldn’t use “Dove’s Bodies Presents: Triceps Torment in Various Positions and Take-Your-Breath-Away Butt/Hamstring Lifts … Muscular Wrangling Guaranteed to Leave You In a Speechless Collapse.”

There you have it. My new relationship was like thinking of having a feral cat as a domestic pet…would I adapt? Could I adapt to this intense exercise program?

At first I was concerned about my total inability to adapt to Dove’s quick position changes in the DVD from an up exercise to a down exercise! But after quiet reflection I realized it was BECAUSE MY MUSCLES WERE SO SORE THEY WERE IN A LOCK-UP LIKE A CAR SKIDDING ON ICE. Tumbling to the floor was my only option to get to a plank. Yes I got tumbling bruises. I was on a mission. Nothing could convince me to stop.

Reflecting back to those first weeks, I did not have the best form as I was just trying to get through so I could say I did it. My body was so weak (just like years ago in L.A.) that I often felt like I was flailing about. But, that’s how one builds strength. It just has to be done. That is what change is about. You have to take the steps towards the light not knowing what lies ahead. And as the sludge started to move, baby muscle tissue could see the light of purpose and start to function as healthy muscle instead of a foundation to support fat packages.